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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28661112">What is this emotion?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssleepytimes/pseuds/ssleepytimes'>ssleepytimes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Our Life: Beginnings &amp; Always (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Emotional, F/M, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Jamie, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Young Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:21:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>698</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28661112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssleepytimes/pseuds/ssleepytimes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Couple years go by and you three are inseparable. You all have been through thick and thin regarding young childhood, been to each other's aid and such. The amount of trust and attachment grew over time, although for you and Cove, something else grew as well.</p><p>The feeling of love.</p><p>Fic takes place during Step 2, reader and Jamie have no specified gender !</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cove Holden/Main Character | Jamie Last (Our Life), Cove Holden/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What is this emotion?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You wondered, is this what heartbreak feels like?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You were still pretty young so of course you were inexperienced with emotions and still developing with them but this was a feeling you for sure have never felt before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dread was piling up in your stomach. Your mind was a fuzzy mess. Shock and despair was taking over.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But you couldn’t display it. No.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Not in front of your best friend, Jamie.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>What they just said kept infiltrating your mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Cove and I are finally together!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> they said with such a giddy smile and tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The destruction that was your mind was trying to keep up with multiple things at once, trying to keep yourself together and understanding what was going on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jamie, you and Cove were the best of friends for the longest time. You had met them when your parents made you connect with the other kids of the area since kids were pretty rare to move in so they wanted to make sure you’d at least have a friend or 2. The two were already in good standing with each other and welcomed you into their friend group. More Jamie than Cove, who was a little more cold towards you but you understood since you were a stranger to him at the time. You noticed how friendlier he was to Jamie and you wanted to eventually get on those terms with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Couple years go by and you three are inseparable. You all have been through thick and thin regarding young childhood, been to each other's aid and such. The amount of trust and attachment grew over time, although for you and Cove, something else grew as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The feeling of </span>
  <em>
    <span>love.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You at first didn't understand this feeling, your heart racing whenever he smiled at you or your cheeks heating up whenever you're near him. At first you thought it was normal friendship things until you realized you didn't have this reaction with Jamie. After a month or two of this happening you begrudgingly asked your parents about this problem you needed help with. Once they gave you the answer, your brain let all the puzzle pieces click. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No wonder just thinking about him made your young heart flutter. No wonder just him giving you a hug would make your mind fuzzy. No wonder when hanging with the group you were always a bit more excited to be with Cove then Jamie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No wonder. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You were in love with Cove.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So after finally understanding what this deep rooted emotion towards the seafoamed hair nerd was, of course your emotions would be going through turmoil when hearing that sentence from Jamie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You didn't want to display these feelings of hurt and shock so you hid it all behind a mask. You smiled for them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That's great! I'm happy for you two.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> you replied, fingertips gripping at the end of your shirt. The anxiety in you was building and you tried your best to ease it by fumbling with your clothing. You didn't want to be rude and show signs of displeasure of them finally becoming a thing, as much as this was breaking your soul.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a couple of minutes of pained conversation, they ran off to do some chores in the house, leaving you alone on the chilled beach.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once they were out of sight, you curled into a ball near the ocean's waves lapping at the sand, hoping it would soothe you even a little bit. Then all at once, you broke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sobbing into your knees, the waterworks’ dam broke and all the tears spilled out. You didn't know how to comprehend heartbreak so all you can do is cry it out. Your emotions and mind were sporadic, just a jumbled mess of agony and despair. Your heart felt like it had been sliced into pieces, leaving behind shards of what you had felt for Cove.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Breathing out of control, you dug your hands into the sand to feel something, anything, other than this disgusting emotion. While the sand cooled down your shaky fingertips, it did nothing to calm your overworking brain.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<span>This is what heartbreak felt like, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>god did it feel awful.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I haven't wrote a fic in so long so forgive me if its cringy or bad aha........<br/>am i evil for writing angst for such a wholesome and amazing game-</p></blockquote></div></div>
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